On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
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Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize