his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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