i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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