Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize