and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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