i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
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Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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