That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
