Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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