She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
