problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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