these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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