Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
