sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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