the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
