He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I bet he comes in French.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
