She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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