i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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