I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
