so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You were trust falling into bushes
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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