My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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