I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Everclear isn't food dammit
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
