he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
