I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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