I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize