he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
