Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
