atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
