did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
