this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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