I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
