he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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