you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
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Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
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omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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