i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Randomize
