think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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