how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You can't just leave with hair like that
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
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