umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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