I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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