dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
