ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
