turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
