just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
