I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
