I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Your penis caused this!
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