It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
