she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Randomize
