Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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