Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
where am i from again
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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