if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
she peed on how many people?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Randomize
