His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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