so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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