Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
