there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
