woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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