I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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