Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
