It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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